In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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