Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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