smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he puts the penis in happiness.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Your cock deserves a montage
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
