Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
