I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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