Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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