I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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