I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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