and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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