also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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