I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
