Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
