real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I deserve to be covered in dicks
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize