i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
