Are we in a gay sports bar?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
