Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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