her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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