VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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