The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
