It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
