another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
