you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
