This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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