So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
