Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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