Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
