you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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