i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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