K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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