I'm going to jail i love you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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