how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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