Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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