YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
