Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
