Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
