how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
