at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
