bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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