I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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