I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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