Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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