We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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