Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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