I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
