Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
