we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
