Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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