Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
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