I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
