I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your penis caused this!
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