even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
