she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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