I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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