I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am one with the molecules
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize