he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
