Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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