jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
