everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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