coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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