i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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