One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize